Eleven years ago, my world was turned upside down. My third child, Nora Elizabeth was born still. I almost died giving birth to her and lost the ability to have any more children. Nora would be my last birth forever. A few weeks after I returned home, after I buried my daughter, I received a death certificate in the mail.
A death certificate. My husband and I didn't understand how you could have a death certificate without a birth certificate. How could someone die if they were never born? I made some calls to the Iowa Department of Public Health. The woman I spoke to said that my child had died but she was never born. I told her I gave birth to Nora the same way I gave birth to my other children. She was quiet but repeated her response.
I did some research. I found the MISS Foundation and learned about the MISSing Angels Bill ( now called the Certificate of Birth Resulting in Stillbirth or CBRS). I joined MISS and found out how I could help. I reached out to my congressmen. I wrote letters, I made phone calls, I emailed everyone in my contact list. ( This being the pre-Facebook world) Repeatedly, I was told that this was not going to happen. I was informed that this was not a cause that needed attention. Stillbirths did not need a birth certificate. They were sorry but there was nothing they could do. I was referred back to the IDPH and told that I could have a Commemorative Certificate of Stillbirth. I immediately wrote for one since I needed something, anything that said Nora existed.
Many moms wrote to me. Many moms asked me how they too could have a commemorative certificate. Each mom asked me how they could fight this battle. I told them how they could write to their congressman. I gave them step by step instructions. Nothing happened. I felt defeated.
I continued to help moms and dads. I became a volunteer for the MISS Foundation. I answered each and every email from moms questioning how they could help with the CBRS. In 2003, I started fighting for the bill again. This time, the bill was muddled by the opposition. It became about politics and as hard as I tried, I was shut down. I even received a letter from the Governor stating that this was a slippery slope and that Iowa was not going to be a part of this. Again, I didn't know what to do. I had no Iowa contacts, no idea of what to do next.
As I watched so many states pass the CBRS, I became increasingly frustrated. Despite my continued attempts, I was getting nowhere. I had many conversations over the years with nurses, doctors, social workers. All wanted to see this bill passed but we could not get a sponsor for the bill. In 2008, several of us tried again. The IDPH was getting frustrated with us. We were told once again that the politics surrounding this issue were insurmountable. In 2008, my health was becoming a factor. I tabled the discussion. It seemed impossible.
As 2010 rolled in, I was disabled with a chronic disease. I had much time on my hands , Facebook was an event and I watched Pennsylvania and New York fighting tooth and nail for this bill. I knew I would try again. I contacted the MISS liaison, Daryl and asked him for any tips he might have. I knew that I was not politically savvy but I wanted to try. I needed to do this for Nora and for all the moms , dads, and siblings that had written to me over the years. Unfortunately , my health became an issue that stopped me in my tracks. I was in and out of the hospital and just couldn't do much with this bill.
One day, as I laid in bed, an email popped on my phone. It was from a mom whose daughter had just died. My heart broke for her. She asked me about the bill. She told me about a dream she had to make sure the CBRS gets passed. Her name was Mandy and her precious daughter's name was Melody.
So many thoughts ran through my head. This was a dream that I had. I needed to do this for Nora. I wanted Nora to be proud of me but in my heart, my health was not going to let that happen, nor was my lack of political know-how. Deep down, it was time the torch was passed to Mandy.
And now, 7 months later, Mandy has done an amazing job in getting this bill passed. On Monday, we will all stand next to the Governor while he signs HF2368 Certificate of Birth Resulting in Stillbirth. Mandy was able to step in and give families like mine a voice, when no one else would listen for over ten years. She knew how to get the job done and for that I am eternally grateful. For the moms who have written me over the years, for the moms who are reaching out to Mandy now, for Melody, for Nora.
Deep in my heart, I do wish I would have been able to accomplish getting this bill passed. It had been a dream of mine. It was my baby for over ten years. In reality, this bill wasn't about me. The CBRS is for the families of Iowa who have waited far too long to have a birth certificate.
Now, thanks to Mandy, they finally will. Our children will have the voice they so richly deserve.
