Tick tock goes the clock.

“Time is a created thing. To say 'I don't have time,' is like saying, 'I don't want to.”
― Lao Tzu

Oh how true this is. I could sit here and give you a thousand excuses as to why this blog has not been updated since 2015, but the truth is I didn't want to. I felt no pull to work on this blog. Yet, I have missed writing because writing provides me a sort of respite.

I graduated from college at the end of 2015. Balancing a chronic illness with going back to college at the age of too damn old was no small feat. Truly, I felt exhausted. I disconnected from doing much of anything except focusing on my chronic illness. I entered into a terrible, no good flare in both the crohn's disease, arthralgias and the fibromyalgia. I found that I am now having heart issues, uncontrolled diabetes, degenerative foot issues that make walking one hell of an adventure, and I am also showing signs of borderline kidney disease. Phewww. Even typing this was tiring. Fatigue is a daily occurrence. I am finding that I am dragging myself through each day. There are days where I go from the bed to the sofa, and back to bed. On the rare days I am able to get out, I soak up the sun to only find there is a heavy price to be paid for having a rare good day. A price I am more than happy to pay for just a moment in the sun.

In my fantasy world, I would graduate from college and suddenly a miracle would occur. I would become healthy or at the very least stabilized and I would be able to go back to work. This didn't happen. In the back of my mind, this tiny fantasy still exists. I want to go back to work and be a champion for social justice issues. Where did I put that magic wand?

But until that magical day, time can be used differently and creatively for social justice while tending to my health. I do in fact have time, lots of it. The first step is to go back to blogging my chronic adventures. I would like to engage more with my camera and my art supplies. I need to finish projects that I have started. I am working on becoming certified as a creative grief practitioner, and collaborating with a dear friend on a project that is close to both of our hearts.

Tick tock goes the clock.