Art in the dark

This started out as beautiful and as my mood
became darker, so did the journal page.

It would seem that lately life has many lessons that I need to hear, to understand, to accept. I hear. I don't always understand. I rarely accept.

I hear the doctor when she tells me I need to
accept my chronic illness.  I don't understand why
I have to accept it. And I sure in the hell don't accept it yet. I don't accept that I have crohn's , nor do I accept I have fibro. I understand I am in pain often and hate it. I miss me.

I am frustrated which in turn is leading to
altercations with  family members, mostly
my teenage boy. He and I tend to go at it quite
often but lately I am too tired to fight.
Instead I have been turning on my music
and escaping with paintbrush in hand.

This would be me embracing my inner darkness.