♥Dìa de los Muertos♥

Abby and I participated in Mother Henna's Day of the Dead Blog Fest and Artist Trade. We both had so much fun working on our pieces. Day of the Dead became a tradition for us when we lost our daughter/sister Nora.

Abby loved painting each of her pieces, and I loved using photography as my medium. We especially enjoyed sitting together, remembering our loved ones while we worked on our Day of the Dead pieces. Together our family set up Nora's ofrenda including Day of the Dead art that both kids have made throughout the years. We cannot wait to include our artist collaboration pieces from this event, everyone did such a beautiful job!!

Thank you to Mother Henna for having such a wonderful event for a very special day.

I encourage you to find out more on Day of the Dead and set up your own ofrenda. It is a very special way to honor and remember those who have gone before us.

Remembering....

When we first lost Nora, we had a difficult time with friends and family. Mostly, they really didn't get it. Not all of them, my mother was my rock and still is. My sister-in-law, my parents-in-law, my best friends...we were blessed to have them in our life. We still are as they continue to remember with us, to hold our hand.

As a family, we have grown in our grief. Nora has been integrated into our every day life and grief has become a friend. Sometimes grief visits for awhile, sometime we do not see grief for a long time. We have learned as a family that what we do is normal. No one has the right to judge us, not even family. This has been a very painful discovery as those who do not understand continue to judge and say hurtful things. Sometimes walking away is the only option as one cannot continue to be needlessly hurt. We still love those who hurt us but we need to live our life as we see fit. This year has been a turning point, albeit a painful one.

Through this painful discovery, we have met some incredible and thoughtful people who are more than willing to step in, to show love, to be our family. I work with some amazing coworkers who really get it. Some are a member of the "club", some just have open minds. We are blessed to live and work in Iowa City, an incredibly diverse area of Iowa that have such amazing people. The dead are not forgotten but simply remembered and honored in so many ways.

One of these amazing customs is from Mexico, Dia de los Muertos or Day of the Dead. I was fortunate to learn about this early on in my grief journey. Seven years ago, I explained this day to my living children and they were so excited. We put up an ofrenda and have never missed this celebration. The children are both in junior high and high school now. This holiday is celebrated both in their school, with their friends and in our community. My friend at work is going to Mexico to celebrate Day of the Dead with his best friend. It has been wonderful to share how each of us takes this day and remembers those who are no longer with us.

As I step back this year and watch the festivities, I am reminded of how far we have come. Seven years ago when we put up our first ofrenda, we were very broken , we were afraid to share the holiday for fear of family ridiculing. Now, we aren't afraid. Our family has changed, and grown with the addition of friends who accept us and love us and celebrate with us.

This Day of the Dead will be a celebration as we completely immerse ourselves in the culture. Sugar Skulls will be made, the ofrenda will be bigger and more beautiful as we celebrate and remember those who are no longer with us. We will remember Nora, our daugher, who died in 2001. We will remember the twins we lost and the littlest angel we lost in 1996. We will remember all the babies lost to stillbirth, miscarriage, or infant death. We will remember my loving grandmother who died in 2007, my husbands grandparents and aunts and uncles. We will remember all of our grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends.. we will remember everyone as we celebrate Dia de los Muertos.

Looking through the artistic window

I realized today that I have not updated this blog in a very long time. I have become a facebook junkie, a part time artist, a super busy mom, and a very tired daughter. I am being pulled into so many pieces that I will definitely need to take time to put me back together. I find Facebook my outlet.. thought lately I am having a hard time keeping up. Finding great joy in reconnecting with my past friends from high school, part of the facebook addiction. I have also , with the help of my dear friend over at KotaPress, rediscovered my artistic side. Art helps to balance me, both with my life long journey in grief and with just life in general. The kids have been super busy with one competition after another, teaching me that both have amazing creative talents that come out in very different ways. Abby is very much into the inventive side of life. She looks beyond the ordinary to create something wonderful. Corey does wonderful work in speech, recently participating in a number of speech contests. He has a great humorous side and definitely adds a spark to any moment in time. He has the ability to make people laugh and he loves doing it. I have awesome kids. Recently, both kids have joined me in the artistic side of life, it is a way to express anger, happiness, or if they are missing their sister, a way to work through the feelings , the pain.
My mom has recently moved to her very own house, moving her this week has been exhausting and an experience. Bear and I have spent every waking moment this past week moving her..and trying to set her up. I have hope that life will give her what she needs and she will move into a new direction. I find that she needs to be settled, this past 6 months were very unsettling for her. Even with this journey, one can find the art settling in..whether it be setting up mom's new house, or planning out her gardening or just being creative , the art is there. Mom tends to be crafty as well and I hope to get her involved in new projects.
This must draw to a close.. but I do hope to blog more often..as well as do more art... I need the balance...Thank you Kara.

Ice Storm Cometh

Sometimes it takes an ice storm and your fifteen year old to teach you about life. Life gets so busy sometimes and when you are mom..and Christmas is only days away busy doesn't even begin to describe it. When we were making preparations for the ice storm, my fifteen year old asked me quite pointedly why we never just stop... why I always have to keep going and keep busy. It really took me by surprise but I chalked it up to he will understand when he is older. Yesterday we were hit by the storm, thankfully not as severe as forecasted but bad enough to keep me home from work and the kids home from school. Suddenly I was granted an extra day, I could bake cookies, wrap gifts, clean the house and at that moment I said NO! Corey heard me say for the first time that we were going to do nothing.. just have fun and live in the moment..I had the best day I have ever had.. I enjoyed the kids, I worked on my photography, Abby worked on her art and Corey discovered that he could blog as well.
Sometimes it takes a fifteen year old and an ice storm to wake you up to life.....thats a very good thing!!

Snowflakes

As I sit here watching the snow fall, our first measurable snow , I am reminded of how fast time flies. I cannot believe we are entering yet another Christmas season. Christmas is always a mixed time for our family, experiencing both joy for our blessings, and a profound sadness from missing our littlest angel Nora. We decorated her grave and put up our angel tree in memory of her. We will be attending two ceremonies this year in her honor. The first will be this Saturday, at the Angel of Hope candlelight vigil for those who have lost a child. The second will be next Tuesday at the Love Lights ceremony. Grandmom J bought a Love Light in honor of Nora and her mother, my grandmother. The Love Light Ceremony is to honor all who have died so that we may remember.

Some good news finally!!!

Thought I would share Corey's freshman pic. Corey is starting to have more good days than bad days. For that, we are eternally grateful. He will just spend winter resting, no sports. He feels if he continues to heal than he will play football again. Bear and I have decided that this is up to him. He turned 15...wow can't believe that. 15 years old.. I don't know when that happened. He has a girlfriend now, her name is Katherine. He took her to homecoming and they have been dating ever since. Here is a pic from that night:
Corey is also spending alot of free time helping with the elementary after school program. He wants to be a teacher so this really helps him with that goal. He loves the kids and loves reading to them and helping with their homework.
Abby is doing great. She has her first piano recital Tuesday. I will be sure to post pics from that. She continues to excel in school and music. She recently participated in an Eco-Meet with her TAG group. She had lots of fun!!!

Difficult times

I have to apologize for not updating the blog. We have been dealing with some pretty heavy stuff and sometimes even scary. Corey got a concussion, a severe one, in a football game two weeks ago. So far, we have made three trips to the ER. It has been horrible to watch Corey suffer. He has been pulled out of football until next year. In my heart I never want him to go back but I know that football is his love. Yesterday we went back to the ER. Last night at dinner, Corey said something that brought both Bear and myself to tears. Corey is not sure he wants to go back to playing. He realizes the severity of the injury and is not sure he can face this again, or face a worse condition.

When I lost Nora seven years ago, you become delusional thinking that you have lost one and you won't lose another one but we came close. With everything the doctors have told us, we came close. Today is Corey's birthday. I am so thankful to have Corey and to know that in time he will hopefully heal from this injury. Please keep Corey in your prayers.